God Spoke To Me This Morning 12/25/09

Warning: Reading of this blog may lead to discomfort to some readers. If you have a history of problems with other people’s opinions, please scroll down and read my blog entitled “Lightweights need not apply” before proceeding.

Note: Accepting one’s own opinions or conclusions on others statements as facts can be damaging to one’s judgment and/or credibility.

God spoke to me this Christmas morning by way of a group of thoughts. The same way he speaks to anyone who has said they were spoken to by God. (What alcoholics might call “a moment of clarity”). I was given the truth and here it is:

1. Jesus was not a homosexual but in fact was bi (bisexual) but never was a receiver and in fact always a giver of homosexual acts to exercise his power and dominance over his male followers.

2. All but one of the disciples was gay, the exception being Mary who was a male transvestite. Therefore, the only way Mary and Joseph could achieve Immaculate Conception was the only way any human man could … with the help of a surrogate mother. God went on to tell me that the mother of Jesus was a fag hag that hung around the group from time to time.

3. The next thing he told me was that the current Republican Party is made up mostly of decedents from the original disciples. BTW, also included in that group of decedents is any man that has an urge to kiss the hem of Jesus’ or for that matter any man’s garment.

4. The last thing told to me by God by way of a group of thoughts was that the women that hang out or marry said “garment kissing cravers” (AKA, Christians), shall be from now on referred to as “fag hags”.... AMEN